“Do not be unequally
yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with
lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” -2 Corinthians 6:14
The decision to follow Jesus Christ as Lord remains the most
important decision of a person’s life. The second most important decision
remains a believer’s choice for a spouse. A spouse will either aid your
spiritual growth or become a detriment to it. In the above passage, Paul
instructs believers to be careful who they are “yoked” within this life. The challenges brought about by marriage
remain difficult even for two dedicated believers, much less one as an unbeliever.
Here are the most likely three possible outcomes if a believer marries an
unbeliever:
1.
The most common outcome will be for the
Christian to push Christ to the margins of his or her life. This may not
involve renouncing our faith but in matters of practicing our faith. Examples
of practicing our faith include: our devotional life, hospitality to believers
(Sunday School events and small group meetings), missionary support, tithing,
raising children in the faith, fellowship with other believers, church
attendance- that thing will have to be minimized or avoided in order to
preserve peace in the home.
2.
Alternatively, if the believer in the marriage
holds on to a healthy Christian life and practice, the non-believing partner
will have to be marginalized. If the unbelieving partner can’t understand the
point of the Bible study, prayer, missions, hospitality, or church attendance,
then he or she can’t or won’t participate alongside the believing spouse in
those activities. The profound unity and oneness of a marriage cannot flourish
when one partner cannot fully participate in the other person’s most
significant commitments.
3.
Either the marriage experiences stress and break
up; or it experiences stress and stays together, achieving some truce that
involves one spouse or the other yielding in some areas, but which leaves both
parties feeling lonely and unhappy.
Does this sound like the kind of marriage that you want? One
that strangles your growth in Christ or chokes your growth as a couple, or both?
Think back to 2 Corinthians 6:14 about being “unequally yoked.” Most of us no
longer live in an agrarian culture, but try to visualize what would happen if a
farmer yoked together an ox with a donkey. The heavy wooden yoke, designed
to harness the strength of the team, would be askew, as the animals are of
different heights, weights, walk at different speeds and with different styles.
The yoke would rub and chafe both animals since the load would be distributed
unequally.
An unequal marriage is not just unwise and outside God's will for the Christian, it is also
unfair to the non-Christian, and will end up being a trial for them both. Marriage carries enough challenges without extremely different exceptions for the marriage from each person involved.
